With time changes occur in all aspects of life including our dressing,
eating, spending styles etc. Parenting is no exception. The newest
approach to raising children is known as ‘Gentle Parenting’. It focuses
on using
– Empathy
– Respect
– Understanding
– Healthy boundary setting
to raise children.
Research shows that such children grow up to be more independent &
confident. They are better at understanding their own needs and can
communicate better assertively & respectfully. Such a parenting style
also reduces anxiety in children & later in life. It improves parent child
bond & sets the tone for positive growth and development. Children
observe how parents react to situations & how parents respond to them.
When parents are empathetic & respectful in their everyday interaction
with children the children inculcate & emulate the same both at home &
outside. This style of parenting also gives children a chance to process
their own emotions & moderate their behaviour. This helps in emotional
regulation later in life.
It needs to be said that this style of parenting needs a lot of patience &
time on the parents’ part. Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help
navigate gentle parenting.
Do’s:-
-Parents need to monitor and clock their style of communicating, dealing
with difficult situation and response to the child
– Parents need to understand why children are behaving as they are
keeping in mind their age, cognitive ability and their environment. This
would mean adjustment the expectation of parents to a more realistic
standard for ex. If a toddler is having a tantrum, the parent needs to
understand that this might be the only way for the child to express their
discomfort or displeasure. It doesn’t necessarily mean the child is
naughty. Children should be allowed to experience & process negative
emotions safely.
– Treat the child how you would wish to be treated i. e. with respect with
empathy. Try suggestions, explain or reason with them. This ensures
maintenance on desired behaviour in the long run
– Boundary setting is a crucial element of positive parenting and how it is
done is extremely important. Firmness & consistency are crucial. For
older children same boundaries can be set after mutual discussion.
-Encourage & praise the positive behaviour much more than criticising
the negative behaviour
Dont’s:
– Avoid screaming, using harsh language or physically intimidating
children. This might temporarily stop them but instils the seeds for
anxiety in the child.
– Avoid criticising children in public.
– Don’t comment on the person, instead comment on the action. So
instead of saying ‘you are a bad boy’, say ‘what you did just now
was not good’. Children very often internalise such labels.
– Don’t try to terminate all negative responses by the child. It’s
important to allow them to process such feelings.
– If the child is being disobedient, don’t give consequences that are
unreasonably and make sure to stick to the consequences.
Remember, children might not always listen to you, but they are
always learning from you.
